Sights of the Season

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The PREZ surprised Momma big-time this year … with an iPad air! Whatsupwiththat!!! What did I get him? Um, myself! 😉 You know the gift that keeps on giving!

Here is the Prez himself (photo taken with that iPad).

Now I can’t get into my MacBook laptop but it is nothing a Genius Bar dude or dudette won’t be able to navigate (iCloud seems to have a steep learning curve for me anyway). So in the meantime I do have some photos that appeared on my iPad from my iPhone? At least they are communicating!

I thought I’d go back and share some sights from the Christmas season at our house. Continue reading →

Wordless Wednesday

This Christmas

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I love Christmastime. This year though, my heart hurts. I don’t recall a Christmas like this one where I honestly am looking forward to it all being over. If not for my little ones especially, I think I would just skip it. Thankfully, the Prez and some of our children decorated one afternoon while I was gone. I came home and found many things already out.

We all decorated the trees together, but a lot of things just haven’t been the same. You see, I had this wonderful dream that this home would be so special because it would be the first home where all eight of us have lived from the beginning TOGETHER.

But now, that dream has died because in all honesty so much sorrow has happened here already. The vision I had of this first Christmas in our new home, the one we dreamed of for years, didn’t work out. Since just before Thanksgiving, everything we knew to be true has been clouded with the reality that more was broken here than even we already imagined.

I know Christmas isn’t about family times only, far from it, but since 2008 and especially since 2010 it has felt like we are trying to be the family God has brought together through birth and adoption … and we just can’t quite get there.

But now I realize I can’t force it. The Prez can’t force it. Sure we are a family, but the roots I had hoped and prayed … oh how we’ve prayed (yet people will say “if you just pray”) would develop … so many of them that appeared to be there were not rooted as I thought and then others … have never taken root. I love all of our children so deeply, and that is why it hurts so much I think. When our children war against one another in one form or another, oh how it breaks a Momma’s heart.

I don’t know about anyone else, but if you like me, have dreams that have been dashed, a heart that feels like it has been broken in multiple places, a home that just is filled with reminders of all that is broken, a grief that seems almost too much to bear ... just keep holding tight to Jesus and never, never let go.

If you are suffering from a broken heart, maybe one or both of these songs will be a blessing to you.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc&w=420&h=315]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSMjgNMdzEI&w=420&h=315]

I do sincerely wish you a Merry Christmas. May 2014 be filled to overflowing with HOPE for you. I know I’m hopeful for the sun to rise and I will continue believing in Jesus’ promises, particularly that His mercies are new every morning.

The Name

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Someone is so close to writing her name! 😀

Exhibit A

Another Surgery

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Our little bro is in recovery. He had surgery today to replace the abutment that failed. This happens less than 1% of the time and less than that two years post-op. But it happened to him.

OK pity party officially over.

I’m thankful he is in recovery. I’m thankful the Dr was able to find a suitable place for a new one. Li’l Bro has been missing his BAHA (bone-anchored hearing aid). He will have to wait two months before he can attach it to his new abutment.

He will be home late tonight with the Prez. Surgery was set for 3 pm but didn’t start until 4 pm. The Prez says he is woozy and not very happy. I don’t think I can blame him. He wasn’t able to eat since yesterday and drink since 11 am. Here is hoping his tummy is ready for food!

Some Craftiness Does the Heart Good!

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I’ll give a gift to anyone who can tell me which movie has this quote, which seems quite applicable to my blog at the moment:

This place is a tomb! I’m going to the nut shop where it is fun.

OK, now don’t go and google it! That would be cheating! As for the gift, I was just kidding! But if you know it, do share! It is a fun movie that always makes me smile. 🙂

So, in an effort to take away the tomb feeling around here, I thought I’d share another more practical (and fun … well it was fun) reason why my blog is collecting cobwebs.

Continue reading →

The Rollercoaster of Life

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While I had hoped to do some school updates, life has gotten too busy for that. Life is full of twists and turns. I am so thankful we can’t see into the future. If I had known the trials our family would be enduring at present a few years ago, I’m sure I would have made different decisions. However I’m sure of this: we have walked out God’s call to adopt each of our children and we have trusted Him to lead us in that.

Maybe someone reading needs to read this quote today. Surely all have heard of Corrie Ten Boom, but if not goo*gle her because knowing her story gives the quote its power.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. –Corrie Ten Boom

Anyone Still Reading? I’m Still Here!

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Wow, where did the last month go since I posted?

Life has been busy and blessed and broken.

I look at the following photo taken one day while driving on one of the many country roads we now traverse. I can see far ahead in this particular part of the road, but the VAST majority of this road is curvy and I cannot see around the next curve until I go through it.

Isn’t life like that much of the time? We can see far ahead. But as the following photo shows, a curve is usually not far away. And we have to take it slower and not try to figure out what we’ll do too far in advance.

By the way, my front seat passengers took the photos for me in case anyone is wondering. The Fall leaves here have been magnificent! They are now mostly fallen and the temperatures suggest winter is marching into our area sooner than later.

I love all of the seasons, but I must admit the falling leaves and approach of winter make me long for warmer and sunnier days that I know lay ahead.

I don’t know where life has taken you or your family in the last month, but if like me, you’ve waded through muck and mud and made it through to the other side for today, that is cause for celebration.

I have wrestled literally with the Lord over what I have perceived to be unanswered prayers, one in particular. I have come full circle in wanting to understand why He in fact does forsake His children when His Word says He will not, and in coming full circle I have accepted that my definition and perception of His promise is sometimes vastly different than His providence in my life and in the lives of the ones I love the most. I have also come to accept in this wrestling deep within that I just can’t understand who He is in entirety because He IS the I AM, the God of the universe.

I saw this saying this weekend. On Pinterest I think.

If God was small enough for you to completely understand him, he wouldn’t be big enough for you to completely trust him. Rick Warren

Did you really read that??? That sums up where I’ve been. Maybe you’ve been there too. Today I’m going to choose JOY. Someone told me this past Friday that my face exuded joy, and I was completely dumbfounded. She knows a bit of what our family has been enduring, and she said that Joy is usually seen most in those who are choosing it amidst troubles. Happiness of course is easy to find, but joy is often not. I can’t argue with her thoughts on me, but I really was surprised.

I am hoping, really hoping, to write up some posts that I’ll schedule to show up on here in the next week. They are from the past 6 weeks of learning here in our one-room schoolhouse. I don’t want to forget all we’ve done as life takes twists and turns in the future. I don’t know how long this one-room schoolhouse journey will last, so I want to record the moments. I hope your family is blessed this Thanksgiving week! I know we are!

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

A Different {Sort of} Assignment

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Yesterday afternoon I had an unusual (and dreaded) assignment: Christmas Card photo session.

Dum, da, da, dum. And yes, the Prez is doling out skittles in the following photo (more on that later).

I was not the only one dreading it. I base my feelings of dread on past experiences, people. Just eing real and honest here. Maybe some others in the family were dreading it for the same reason. I didn’t ask them their reasons, but I promised them a monetary payment for their time and a bonus for the child who behaved the best. I also had the Prez grab a bag of candy on his way home from work.

Yes, folks, I bribed my own children. It had to be done. I know, some may say this is ridiculous. They should do this (well all but the three-year-old right?) without being paid, and they should show respect and a willing attitude. I mean, the Prez didn’t require candy or bribing. Well … OK, nevermind that.

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