Category Archives: God Is

Reaping What You Sow

I’m Back But I’m Not the Same: My Mission Trip to China

10 Posts in 10 Days turned into 3 Posts in 3 Days.

The days leading up to my departure for China were full of last-minute drug store runs and moments of freaking out about what I was about to do. I didn’t know on February 20 I would be leaving for China in less than 3 months.

February 21 came and I read an email referencing this post on our adoption agency’s blog. They had an urgent need for more team members for an upcoming mission trip. Our agency has a mission-sending aim in addition to helping families adopt children from several countries including China, where we found four of our children waiting for a family!

I read the excerpt from the blog post in that email and it was like I knew. I didn’t really dismiss the prompting I felt, but I did wonder how in the world would I go to China and the logistics of all of it. I sent an email that night to the email link not really knowing for sure who would receive it. As it turns out, a lady, who had followed our journey to our first daughter in 2008 and is an adoptive parent herself, is now working for our adoption agency to coordinate all the China mission trips. She emailed me back that evening with answers to two specific questions I asked.

In her email back to me, two things she said stood out:

The purpose of this trip is simply to serve wherever we are needed in this orphanage. Because we have not been able to work in this specific orphanage, we are not exactly sure what the needs are of this orphanage.

We will need to decide if this trip is a GO or not in the next week, or less.

OK. Breathe I told myself. A week or less? Serve where needed. I can definitely do that I thought, though the emotions and depth of that service proved to be one of the hardest and most rewarding five days of my life thus far. Continue reading →

Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman?

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Do you ever read about the Proverbs 31 woman and think, Why can’t I be like her?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve found life to feel quite defeating lately. If I were to judge or evaluate my worth purely on circumstances regarding our family—relationships, choices, words spoken, and so much more … I would surely not find my value or worth to be worth much at all. Anyone else able to relate?

I am even told on a regular basis things that devalue who I am, what I pour my heart into everyday, and what I perceive to be one of my God-given purposes in this life. Continue reading →

The Decision to Not Homeschool

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In an earlier post, I referenced the fact that two of our children will be going back to public school next year. One of my readers asked if I might share how we came to that decision.

I definitely can’t go into the nitty-gritty details of why, but I know it must be a question for others. I am literally asking the Lord to show me HOW to do this because homeschooling has been what we do for nearly 5 years now.

I am not sure how to start and where to stop.

I have alluded to the fact that we’ve been dealing with some issues here in our home, and I have shared before about the difficult journey we’ve found ourselves upon as parents to children from hard places and/or with problematic behaviors.

I just can’t go into a lot of details, but I will say in general that lack of respect is a major sticking point. I remember a seasoned homeschool Momma telling me years ago that it is impossible if not extremely difficult to teach your own children if they have a general lack of respect for you and/or don’t respect home rules in general. That is definitely a place we’ve found ourselves camped out for quite some time with some of our children, despite what I think are our best efforts (if exhaustion is any indication) to try and redirect them. Continue reading →

Easy Ways to Share the Love on Valentine’s Day

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With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I thought it would be fun to share a post about ways to share the love with others around you on Valentine’s Day.

One thing I’ll promise is that these are EASY things to do! With six children in the mix and mayhem and memories that are made here, I am usually not able to put together anything that requires more than three ingredients … whether it be food or art … or both!

Valentine’s Family Dinner

These first few photos are from our Valentine Dinner last year. For several years now, Valentine’s Day has been a celebration of our family rather than for just the Prez and me to celebrate LOVE. I will admit that sometimes it would be nice to go out on a date, but our reality is that this is just not a reality right now.

So, I decided several years ago we would start a new Valentine’s Day tradition of having a meal complete with foods I know our kids LOVE, and that have a color theme of red and pink!

Continue reading →

This Christmas

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I love Christmastime. This year though, my heart hurts. I don’t recall a Christmas like this one where I honestly am looking forward to it all being over. If not for my little ones especially, I think I would just skip it. Thankfully, the Prez and some of our children decorated one afternoon while I was gone. I came home and found many things already out.

We all decorated the trees together, but a lot of things just haven’t been the same. You see, I had this wonderful dream that this home would be so special because it would be the first home where all eight of us have lived from the beginning TOGETHER.

But now, that dream has died because in all honesty so much sorrow has happened here already. The vision I had of this first Christmas in our new home, the one we dreamed of for years, didn’t work out. Since just before Thanksgiving, everything we knew to be true has been clouded with the reality that more was broken here than even we already imagined.

I know Christmas isn’t about family times only, far from it, but since 2008 and especially since 2010 it has felt like we are trying to be the family God has brought together through birth and adoption … and we just can’t quite get there.

But now I realize I can’t force it. The Prez can’t force it. Sure we are a family, but the roots I had hoped and prayed … oh how we’ve prayed (yet people will say “if you just pray”) would develop … so many of them that appeared to be there were not rooted as I thought and then others … have never taken root. I love all of our children so deeply, and that is why it hurts so much I think. When our children war against one another in one form or another, oh how it breaks a Momma’s heart.

I don’t know about anyone else, but if you like me, have dreams that have been dashed, a heart that feels like it has been broken in multiple places, a home that just is filled with reminders of all that is broken, a grief that seems almost too much to bear ... just keep holding tight to Jesus and never, never let go.

If you are suffering from a broken heart, maybe one or both of these songs will be a blessing to you.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc&w=420&h=315]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSMjgNMdzEI&w=420&h=315]

I do sincerely wish you a Merry Christmas. May 2014 be filled to overflowing with HOPE for you. I know I’m hopeful for the sun to rise and I will continue believing in Jesus’ promises, particularly that His mercies are new every morning.

The Rollercoaster of Life

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While I had hoped to do some school updates, life has gotten too busy for that. Life is full of twists and turns. I am so thankful we can’t see into the future. If I had known the trials our family would be enduring at present a few years ago, I’m sure I would have made different decisions. However I’m sure of this: we have walked out God’s call to adopt each of our children and we have trusted Him to lead us in that.

Maybe someone reading needs to read this quote today. Surely all have heard of Corrie Ten Boom, but if not goo*gle her because knowing her story gives the quote its power.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. –Corrie Ten Boom

Anyone Still Reading? I’m Still Here!

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Wow, where did the last month go since I posted?

Life has been busy and blessed and broken.

I look at the following photo taken one day while driving on one of the many country roads we now traverse. I can see far ahead in this particular part of the road, but the VAST majority of this road is curvy and I cannot see around the next curve until I go through it.

Isn’t life like that much of the time? We can see far ahead. But as the following photo shows, a curve is usually not far away. And we have to take it slower and not try to figure out what we’ll do too far in advance.

By the way, my front seat passengers took the photos for me in case anyone is wondering. The Fall leaves here have been magnificent! They are now mostly fallen and the temperatures suggest winter is marching into our area sooner than later.

I love all of the seasons, but I must admit the falling leaves and approach of winter make me long for warmer and sunnier days that I know lay ahead.

I don’t know where life has taken you or your family in the last month, but if like me, you’ve waded through muck and mud and made it through to the other side for today, that is cause for celebration.

I have wrestled literally with the Lord over what I have perceived to be unanswered prayers, one in particular. I have come full circle in wanting to understand why He in fact does forsake His children when His Word says He will not, and in coming full circle I have accepted that my definition and perception of His promise is sometimes vastly different than His providence in my life and in the lives of the ones I love the most. I have also come to accept in this wrestling deep within that I just can’t understand who He is in entirety because He IS the I AM, the God of the universe.

I saw this saying this weekend. On Pinterest I think.

If God was small enough for you to completely understand him, he wouldn’t be big enough for you to completely trust him. Rick Warren

Did you really read that??? That sums up where I’ve been. Maybe you’ve been there too. Today I’m going to choose JOY. Someone told me this past Friday that my face exuded joy, and I was completely dumbfounded. She knows a bit of what our family has been enduring, and she said that Joy is usually seen most in those who are choosing it amidst troubles. Happiness of course is easy to find, but joy is often not. I can’t argue with her thoughts on me, but I really was surprised.

I am hoping, really hoping, to write up some posts that I’ll schedule to show up on here in the next week. They are from the past 6 weeks of learning here in our one-room schoolhouse. I don’t want to forget all we’ve done as life takes twists and turns in the future. I don’t know how long this one-room schoolhouse journey will last, so I want to record the moments. I hope your family is blessed this Thanksgiving week! I know we are!

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

Learning On the Go!

A Different Sort of Post

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When I began this new blog, I knew it would be a lot less about the topics that seemed to be the meat of my other blog. I don’t talk about adoption on here for the sake of talking about it, promoting it, advocating for children or for any other reasons that I used to talk about it.

I also don’t talk about God much on here. I know that is probably a turn-off to some and probably welcoming to others. It is not that I don’t want to or don’t feel I should. I guess I’ve just been in a season where I didn’t have much to say. And I still don’t I don’t think, because I don’t understand a lot of what is currently about our family. Continue reading →