Reading Is Fundamental

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Not sure how it happened that my baby girl is to be reading, but she’s 5 1/2 and so very smart and has the desire to learn which is so vital to success. She LOVES our one-on-one time together with our Phonics book and honing in on those skills with some resources I’ve made for her to use and interact with in a way that fosters a love of learning! I will share about those resources as well as some other learning tools we use in our kindergarten reading adventures. I chose the title for this post, because I do believe with all of my heart that if we as teachers nurture the love of learning through developing good readers they sky truly is the limit! If you can read, you can learn anything really!

While I don’t employ the use of screens for very long periods of time, we do use screens everyday in our classroom. It is where we find ourselves today as a society, and if I’m being completely honest and why not … I need to use the screens to keep the proverbial wheels of progress turning with six students grades 11 down to kindergarten.

Li’l Bit loves to watch these videos from time to time. Now they are for review purposes only as she has a solid grasp of letter sounds for both the consonants and vowels. I highly recommend this little series because the videos are 30 minutes or less in length and they are engaging without adding unnecessary fluff to them. I purchased ours with a groupon code about a year ago, and they are well worth the $35 I paid for the entire set. Continue reading →

Mourn WITH Those Who Mourn

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I’m so tired of stories, REAL stories involving REAL, LIVE human beings where Christian brothers and sisters PERSECUTE the very brothers and sisters who need LOVE the most. What is wrong with us???

We’ve lived this in our own family, the SHARP PIERCING, DEEP WOUND of persecution in the midst of unimaginable suffering within our family. When we need love and support the most, those whom we expect to provide and offer it are often the very ones who TURN AWAY and worse you SHUN and attack and isolate us. WHY???? You throw stones and you make us feel as if the world is even crueler than we’re already realizing it to be.

I don’t think most people realize the DEPTHS that adoptive families in particular go to FOR THEIR CHILDREN. When a tragedy such as suicide by a child strikes, DON’T YOU KNOW THE FAMILY MAY HAVE ALREADY WALKED OUT EVERY COURSE OF HELP IMAGINABLE.

“If only they had sought counseling … ” THEY’VE LIKELY BEEN TO TOO MANY THERAPISTS TO COUNT THEM ALL.

“If only they hadn’t left him alone … ” MAYBE THEY NEVER DID! Have you ever been in a position where you simply can’t leave your child(ten) alone or even in the care of other siblings? THIS IS LIFE FOR MANY.

“Why did they have weapons in the home?” HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ADVISED BY A PROFESSIONAL HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOME SUICIDE-PROOF? Because I have. And YOU CAN’T.

As another adoptive family faces the heartbreak of the loss of a child, not even yet a teen, it GRIEVES my heart to read the words of the father who speaks of the “sharp words” of some, undoubtedly other Christians. STOP. JUST STOP. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

If you’ve never adopted for GOD’S PRECIOUS SAKE, just STOP and KEEP QUIET and PRAY and let those of us who get it in some very real ways come alongside. And if you haven’t adopted and truly want to be supportive, then say that. Say I want to help but I don’t know how. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? If you truly mean it, they will know it.

I am weary. So very weary. Just this week, yet again, the Prez had to filter out IGNORANT TALK by a woman, who has said the very same things to me IN FRONT OF OUR SON WHO WAS ADOPTED. She goes on these UNEDUCATED (and she is in every sense of the word) tirades of why they can’t adopt a child even though they’d love to adopt one. LORD, PLEASE don’t ever allow that to happen. She doesn’t have what it takes. Truly, she doesn’t. If money is her greatest worry about international adoption, well then as those who’ve walked it out can attest she has no business considering it anyway.

She went ON AND ON AND ON about how it costs $30,000 “up-front” and why does it cost so much? Now mind you, her husband manages a local, fast-food chain restaurant, and she stays home with their high-school-aged daughter, who is in school all day 5 days a week. But anywho, she said “we’ve got to pay off the thousands we spent on Janie’s off-road vehicle for her Christmas gift (who in the world spends thousands on a Christmas gift for a child???), we’ve got a $500+ monthly payment on my brand-new blah, blah car, and we just don’t make a fortune like THOSE PEOPLE who adopt all these kids.” WHAT THE WHAT? Did I mention she was talking to my husband and she knows we’ve “adopted all those kids.”

To my fellow Tennesseans, I apologize in advance, but if there ever was a person who fits the persona many in our great nation think of as Tennessean, this lady is IT. I would share some reasons, but in an effort to keep her identify protected, I will refrain. My point is, NO ONE would do such a thing about a biological child. They just wouldn’t. And they don’t. But when it is an adopted child, all bets are off and filters apparently as well.

As for the adoptive family whose tweenage son took his own life this week, I cannot imagine their grief. And to those who would actually have the audacity to persecute them in the midst of this unimaginable pain and grief and LOSS, SHAME ON YOU. You WILL answer for your actions. NO DOUBT. For those who persecuted our adopted son, YOU WILL TOO. Jesus came to seek and to save those who are lost. His Word gives us SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS for how to walk out MINISTRY.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:14-21)

Classroom Reveal 2015-2016

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Before I take you on a tour of our schoolroom, which I prefer to refer to as “the library” I will introduce you to the cast of characters here at CandL HomeLearning.

Curly, our oldest son, will soon be 17 years old. He’s a Junior this year, but he’s also enrolled in a class at the nearby Community College for Dual Enrollment.
Larry, our second oldest son, is 15 years old. He’s a Freshman this year, and he’s excited to rise to the challenge of taking accelerated courses.
Mo, our third oldest son, just turned 13 years old this summer, and he’s looking forward to tackling 7th grade head-on and so far he’s risen to the challenge.
Li’l Bro, our youngest son, turned 10 years old this summer, and he’s ready to be a 4th grader. He’s still trying to figure out where he fits in best, whether tagging along with his almost-twin sister or wanting to be with the big boys too.
Li’l Miss, our oldest daughter, is 9 years old but just 4 months younger than Li’l Bro, and she’s excited to continue learning in 4th grade this year.
Li’l Bit, our youngest daughter and the baby of the family, is 5 years old, and she couldn’t be more excited about being a Kindergartner this year and being “in real school” with her brothers and sister.

These wonderful T-shirts were designed by Mo and Li’l Miss, and we’re really happy with the way they turned out after ordering them custom on-line. Some of the biggest kids decided they’d rather not wear them on the “same day” as their siblings, but they were gracious enough to pose for a photo for me.

As my students enter our library, which is where 75% of our bookwork, as I like to call it, is done, they can see our rules at the top of the door. They are as follows: Continue reading →

Bucket Filling at Home

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I am often late to the party, but it’s never too late to make a change for the better as they say. I have been reading for more than a year on various teacher blogs about bucket filling. I try to foster this type of environment in our homeschool and in our home, but I will admit the last 21 months and if I’m being completely honest even before that, the Prez and I have often been surviving and picking up the pieces instead of laying down a solid foundation.

After several very tough battles within our family, various children in various therapies, and just a general feeling of hopelessness mixed with sadness over all that’s been lost, the Prez and I are determined to foster a much more positive vibe in our home. One of the ways we are doing that is with a bucket system. Continue reading →

Math in Art: Multiplication Mosaics

Disney World 2014: On Our Way

Keeping Busy with Baby Chicks

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We raise chickens. We didn’t plan to really. We fell into it through a program called the Chick Chain with a local 4H Club. Our then 9-year-old son received 25 one-day-old chicks to raise for about 4 months with the agreement he’d bring his 5 best to the local County Fair. These chicks would then be auctioned to the highest bidder, and those funds used to buy chicks the following year for the program. What we didn’t expect is our son Mo received the Reserve Grand Champion award, which meant his chickens were the 2nd best of the show.

And from that moment on we were all hooked! I’m sad to say Mo’s affection for the chickens has worn off, but me and our three Littles love to care for them and they offer me a form of therapy honestly. There is just something therapeutic about watching them interact and to learn their language. They actually DO have different clucks and calls that mean different things. Now I’m not a chicken nor do I speak chicken, but I do understand a lot of their language. I come running out the back door for instance if I hear our rooster sending out a distress call, and I now know why our grandmas used to say “Now don’t go getting your feathers all ruffled” because I’m here to tell you the ladies most definitely DO ruffle those feathers at a certain time … or rather, after a certain event involving the rooster. Continue reading →

Hands-On Math

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One thing our Pre-Kindergartner loves is to sort. I used to wonder if she was “too old” for this type of activity, but then I reminded myself her finger muscles are still developing strength and sorting is a form of recognizing differences and similarities. Recently I’ve begun to make the sorting more challenging for her, and she asks to do this again and again. I also realized that I can tailor this easy-to-implement activity to her own unique level.

Here she is sorting objects by color. She asked for the various manipulatives and then decided on her own the best way to sort them would be by color. While it wasn’t challenging for her, she had fun and it kept her busy and using that brain and those fingers for a good half an hour while I worked with her bigger siblings. After she finished, we talked about which muffin tin had the most and which had the least items, and we worked in some adding and subtracting until she was done.

Continue reading →

Turns Out I Don’t Have the Friendless Gene

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I recently watched a movie while aboard a 4-hour flight to Costa Rica. I highly recommend the movie The Good Lie and this African Proverb shared at the beginning of the movie spoke profoundly to me that sunny afternoon aboard a Delta flight.

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

Read that again. It packs a lot of power in 16 rather simple words, doesn’t it? How often though do we find ourselves trying to go it alone. Trying to be strong. Trying to look like we have it all figured out. Or have it all together. Or know what the heck we’re doing. Or we tell ourselves we should have it all figured out or know what the heck we’re doing, because after all, we reason, we must be really messed up if we don’t have it all figured out or can’t go it alone or can’t put on the image of being strong.

In my first post I Have the Friendless Gene I referenced many titles I thought of regarding friends and how I viewed these people in the greater scope of this life I’m living. If you haven’t already read that first post, I do recommend you click on over via that title just above because this post is going to make a lot more sense if you’ve read part one of this journey.

If I’m being brutally honest, I attached labels to each of them. Did I just say that? I attached labels. I HATE labels. I mean, I seriously deplore labels and minimizing people by equating them with a label. And yet, I had to face the music after my first post and a lot of self-reflection, soul-searching, and consideration of responses on the blog, via email and private messages from some of the very people I referenced and others who have read my blogs for years and some only a short while. I appreciated each and every response. I sincerely did and still do.

Proverbs 17:17 says: A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

As I thought about this verse and others I found when searching God’s Word for what He has to say about friends and friendship, I concluded that a large issue with my misunderstanding of what friendship truly means was founded in my attempt to relegate it to a specific formula or method. This just doesn’t work though as life is all about seasons, it ebbs and it flows, we face mountaintops and valleys, and ultimately, we walk down many different paths and come to crossroads that shape who we are and lead us to different people on the way who are facing their own ebbs and flows, mountaintops and valleys and paths and crossroads as they walk this life out.

I truly believe if we’re in tune with God’s heart, we will see Him indeed direct our steps, and He ALLOWS us to cross paths with others for His GREATER GLORY. Rather than thinking of my friends with the titles I referenced in the first post, I began to reflect on their actions and how those truly reflected their heart and their care, concern and compassion for me. And I began to realize I don’t want to miss this! I don’t want to relegate these people to a specific title and miss out on the blessing of their friendship. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme how our paths crossed and in what context we met, because if God is directing our steps and we trust His sovereignty, then isn’t that where we want to be?

Regarding actions of my friends, I think of that text where my friend and I are PRAISING JESUS for HIS WORK in our connected lives. I can think of two very recent examples where God’s providence was revealed in ways that were impossible to assign to anything BUT GOD. It was that apparent. Words like confirmation, huge, blessing, validating, amazing, cherished, treasure were exchanged and God IS glorified. GOD IS GLORIFIED. GOD IS REFLECTED in us and through us. THAT IS BIG STUFF, FRIENDS.

Then I thought of a conversation not too long ago where a friend affirmed for me that my musings about being unequally yoked in terms of a friend isn’t always a bad thing, because after all God’s Word tells us to be IN the world and not of it. She gave me some wise advice as I proceed in that friendship and she shared about how she cultivates those friendships in a Christlike way that ultimately lets her light shine and reflects God at the same time.

Then I thought of a recent outing where I had a certain type of friend in mind when I put out a plea on FB, but as it turns out one of my friends that I had originally assigned a different title has the same heart cry I do for orphans and adoption. Not only did we both get to see a documentary we really longed to see, but we also spent some one-on-one time together. We had been trying to carve out a time together sans children, though we thoroughly enjoy a play date, amidst being stay-at-home Mommas to 9 beautiful children between us.

So as I have reflected on this and really allowed it to soak in my mind and more importantly my heart, I am choosing to NOT see people as titles or with labels attached. Rather, I am choosing to call them simply friend.

So no longer will I think of my friends as Bible study friend, my child’s therapist friend, homeschool tutorial friend, childhood friend, sorority sister friend, neighbor friend, church small-group friend, adoption agency friend, local adoptive moms group friend, older child adoption friend … rather I think simply MY FRIEND.

If I am doing and being what God’s Word says, then godly friendships will evolve over time if they are within His will. And if they’re not within His will, even if my heart breaks to think of that, how can I not still be joyful?

I asked myself these questions as I reflected and put pen to paper for this follow-up blog post:

Who stops me at tutorial and says how are you doing in a way that says they really mean it and really want to know?
Who sends that text when a loved one is dying, my children are about to undergo major surgeries, or I’ve posted that one of them is sick on FB?
Who stood close by my side without judgment or any expectation of return through a trial facing my family that left me feeling utterly and helplessly alone and completely questioning if God even existed? And who still stands by my side knowing all she knows that has befallen our family and still without an ounce of judgement?
Who loves me in spite of my actions, words or deeds that have hurt them before? Who has forgiven me for those actions, words, or deeds?
Who tells me regularly “I’m praying for you” or something similar like “I am praying. How can I pray specifically?” (LORD, that is GOOD, godly stuff! Oh my heart!)
Who is the one I feel led to send an email, FB PM, or text to or pick up the phone and call to share a heart cry and prayer request that exposes a deep desire and heart cry that makes no sense in earthly terms?
Who encourages me, my children, and/or my family with their words or deeds?
Who supports me when I’m most in need of that support for whatever the season or circumstance?
Who LOVES my children without condition and shows that love in terms that are immeasurable in earthly measures? Who loves my children with her whole heart? (This one was so important as I delved deeper in this quest, because aside from God my family is my world.)
Who loves me for WHO I AM not who they think I ought to be or maybe thought I was before they saw a whole lot more of the real me? Who sees through to my heart and loves the person on the inside rather than the image I might portray when I’m tucked safely inside my shell?

I could list more questions, but these are the ones I focused on most as I sorted this all out in my mind and heart over these last few weeks.

Really, it isn’t all that complicated. It doesn’t require an over-thinking. It doesn’t require dissecting the past. It doesn’t require harboring negative feelings that only harm and hinder. It doesn’t require a particular regimen of relationship. In other words, maybe we don’t see each other that often for the purpose of spending time together. Or maybe we can’t wait to see each other each week at tutorial and the hugs aren’t even thought out, because they are so natural and the conversation picks up right where we left off the week before. Or maybe we do find time on occasion to get out together for dinner, a movie or just to chat. Maybe those play dates aren’t just about our kids spending time together, but are also about us Mommas cultivating the seeds God has planted in our hearts for one another to walk this out together.

My point is there isn’t a secret formula. Or a prescription. Or a scientific process. There isn’t a RIGHT or necessarily a wrong way. What works with one friendship might not work for another. What works in this season of our mutual lives might not work a year from now. Only God knows and that really IS enough. Our Father, Who made us all, Who loves us all, Who leads those of us Who call Him Lord, Who sees our hearts, He is the One to lead us to cross paths with other Christ-followers for His greater purpose and His greater glory. Why would I want to miss that?!?!

So I will take one step at a time, and if, unfortunately, one step at a time requires a pause and then a restart, I will do that too. Since I follow the Lord and choose to believe He will direct my steps as He promises He would, I trust He knows my needs better than I know them myself. I love this verse I will end with below, because what a PROMISE this is from God! If we believe this promise truly, then how can we, how can I, not cherish the relationships the Lord has placed in my life and also trust He will grow them, nurture them, cultivate them in such a way that He is glorified, that He is manifested, that He is revealed, that He is worshipped, that He is proclaimed, that He is reflected out of that friendship.

We can make our plans, but the Lord directs our steps. {Proverbs 16:9}

A Repost: Three Years Later! (Part 2)

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**Three years ago today, February 5, 2012, our whole family met our Li’l Bit in Guizhou, China. I can’t believe it has been 3 YEARS! Here is another post I had on my original blog. Too many precious pictures to not post this one too. If you missed part 1 recap, it is HERE.**

OH.MY.WORD.

God is so great!!!

I was admittedly worried this little girl would be so overwhelmed with all of us. I mean we are quite the crew here. Continue reading →